Today there is an article in the national newspaper "THE WEEKLY NEWS" about Andrew and my fight for justice. Its titled: "I believe Government cover-up caused my sons death."

The report explores my research and how during the BSE scandal "a key advisor to the Government WAS ALSO A PAID CONSULTANT OF THE BEEF INDUSTRY." You can check out the full article on page 11.

Because of my extensive research, evidence and data I am gathering, I am convinced that if the ministers and officials responsible during the BSE scandal had acted morally and with concern not one person would have died of vCJD. My son Andrew would still be alive and living his life to the full.

Vet David Bee who I interviewed for the BBC1 documentary recorded the first case of BSE in December 1984 from Pitsham Farm, Midhurst in West Sussex. The cows brain was sent to the Government Central Veterinary Lab (CVL) and was subsequently examined by three top pathologists and scientists, Carol Richardson studied the brain confirming BSE a second opinion from Dr Martin Jefferey and a third from her boss Gerald Wells "agreed with her", the cow had been suffering from BSE a lethal disease.

The head of the pathology department at CVL was Ray Bradley (who later became advisor to the government regarding BSE its control and prevention). Bradley knew a new and fatal disease had been discovered yet this is the memo he sent to Dr William Watson, CVL Director ( who later advised the Southwood Committee on BSE prevention and control) and Dr Brian Shreeve Director of research this is what it said:

"IF THE DISEASE TURNED OUT TO BE BOVINE SCRAPIE (three top pathologist had already diagnosed BSE) IT WOULD HAVE SEVERE REPERCUSSIONS TO THE EXPORT TRADE AND POSSIBLY ALSO TO HUMANS,IF, FOR EXAMPLE IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT HUMANS WITH SPONGIFORM ENCEPHALOPATHIES HAD CLOSE ASSOCIATION WITH CATTLE. IT IS FOR THESE REASONS I HAVE CLASSIFIED THIS DOCUMENTAT CONDFIDENTIAL. AT PRESENT I RECOMMEND PLAYING IT LOW KEY"

The above information was shared at the highest levels and the secrecy and cover up was endorsed, condoned and continued for well over a decade.

When that first cow was recorded by David Bee less than 25 miles away from our home in Portsmouth I was wrapping presents for Andrews second Christmas. Not knowing as I cuddled my violet eyed toddler that in Whitehall’s murky offices ministers and officials were weaving a web of lies to protect the beef industry and in doing so signed my only sons death warrant.

For well over ten years those men and women named and shamed on the website deliberately hid facts, massaged information, reported biased/ partisan scientific opinion as scientific fact and in doing so allowed the time bomb that is vCJD free reign to kill hundreds of innocent people and also incubate in possibly "ONE IN A THOUSAND OF THE UK POPULATION".

Here is a photo of me and Jenni Murray at the BBC Radio 4 studios before the recording of Woman’s Hour. Jenni told me she remembered Andrew working at the BBC in Manchester it made me feel proud of everything Andrew had achieved in his too short life.

If you missed my interview with Jenni you can listen to it again using this link:  www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/womanshour

It was great to be back in Manchester as its such a vibrant city, Andrew had many friends in the area who visited him every weekend when he was dying. There is a great deal of bad press about young people but I can say without exception all Andrews colleagues and friends many only in their twenties themselves were wonderfully supportive and remained steadfast and true throughout his illness.

They all still keep in touch and come down to visit and this summer I am hoping to make another trip to Manchester as well as Birmingham and Wolverhampton to see Andrews friends and talk about my son and the fun he used to have in those cities.

I am having a few days away from the PC and the campaign to get some balance into my life. I have just filed some stories for my local newspaper they are very much community based feel good articles which helps me keep my feet on the ground and remind me of the nice things in life.

Emma and I are going out to buy a few things for her halls at University. Its a very mixed time for her, she is very excited about the prospect of University life and her course but also has the apprehension of her A level results looming and the fact that in October she will be living away from home for the very first time. So over the next few days there will no doubt be numerous trips to the shops to buy crockery, bedding, everything to make her tiny room at university as homely as possible.

We are also going to the cinema to see the film "Mama Mia" ...I took Emma to see the stage show when she was fourteen and we both loved the high spirited and feel good storyline and songs ...for a while I am hoping the upbeat tunes from ABBA will transport me to another place and another time.

On Tuesday I visited Cardiff to meet and talk to family members of victims of vCJD living in Wales. Sharing our experiences, grief and anger has made my resolve more steadfast and focused.

Those moments shared with so many heartbroken families makes my determination even clearer helping me to push the campaign and my fight for truth and justice forward.

I also visited Brendan Mason Consultant Epidemiologist who works for the National Public Health Services in Wales. He is heading a team of scientists and researchers who have re opened an investigation into the death of three young people who died of vCJD in the Tenby and Carmarthen districts. He is looking at the link between their untimely death due to vCJD and school meals, two of the victims attended the same school, whilst the third was sitting down eating his school dinners at the same time in a local infant school. All had school meals during 1987-1988...the year my Andrew started school and ate his first school dinner too!

Brendan sees his role as identifying more precisely the sources of infection which killed those young people. Brendan and I spent a quite a few hours in discussion and I am sure that Brendan’s ongoing investigations will have resonance in the evidence and information which I am gathering throughout the UK into "what killed my son"

Please listen to BBC Radio 4 Woman’s Hour at 10am on Thursday 24th July when I will be talking about Andrew, vCJD, the campaign and the documentary. If you miss the programme you can listen again on the Woman’s Hour website homepage www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/womanshour

Tuesday 22nd July 2008

Here is a photo of me being filmed outside the Houses of Parliament for the MBC special "my lost son". I am explaining to the camera about the continual lies and cover up by the UK government, its ministers and officials which led to Andrew dying of vCJD.

It was a tremendously hot summers afternoon.....we filmed throughout Westminster, Whitehall as well as visiting many places in which Andrew had worked and spent time with his friends and colleagues. We filmed at talkSPORT in the studio where Andrew used to produce his live radio programmes. Sitting in Andrews chair at the desk.....made me both so proud and so very sad.....

During last week I met with another Mother who had lost her son to vCJD due to a contaminated blood transfusion. We talked about our lovely sons and the pain of burying our children.

Blood cannot be tested for vCJD infection and neither can people. Also no one who has lived in the UK during the 1980s and into the 1990s can donate blood abroad.

It was my birthday on Sunday...my first without Andrew...I took some flowers up to his grave and then spent the rest of the day quietly with family....

With a mothers love and people power I am sure I will get justice for Andrew.

John Major
Margaret Thatcher
John Gummer
Ray Bradley CVL laboratory
William Rees
Donald Acheson
John Macgregor
Keith Meldrum
Kenneth Clarke
Kenneth Calman
Douglas Hogg
Stephen Dorrell
Richard Packer
Elizabeth Attridge
Dr Jeremy Matters
Richard Carden
Alan Lawrence
Roberts Lowson
Gerald Wells
Sir Derek Andrews
Dr Alisa Wight
Angela Browning
Thomas Eddy
M H Baker
Dr Bernard Williams
Dr Robert Kendall
Dr Richard Kimberlin
Ron Jacobs
Dr Gerald Jones
Dr Hilary Pickles

I weep for how little my sons life was worth to the government, ministers and officials I name and shame on this site..........

The EDM (Early Day Motion) presented by Mike Hancock CBE MP can be seen on the parliamentary data base link below. This is asking all members of parliament to back the campaign Justice For Andy. If your MP appears on the list please write to them offering your support too! With your help I know I can get justice for Andrew. It will be very interesting to see who pledges their support!

http://edmi.parliament.uk/EDMi/EDMDetails.aspx?EDMID=36365&SESSION=891

I have been interviewed by several radio stations today and will be on BBC South Today this evening talking about the my beautiful boy Andrew the campaign, my investigations and the link between vCJD and school dinners. You can watch the BBC South Today interview again by using the following link:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7508501.stm

What I have found again and again talking to people who worked in catering, preparing or delivering meat to institutions that the practice of dodgy meat ending up in schools, hospitals, prisons and armed forces meals was widespread during BSE .Coupled with lax slaughterhouse practices people selling on cattle that were obviously diseased and ill was widespread across the UK during BSE and this was condoned and accepted by government. This was another element of BSE which the government allowed to flourish which helped to spread the agent that caused vCJD.

Photo - Christine and South Today Presenter/Journalist Roger Finn, during the filming of her interview about Andrew, the campaign and her investigations regarding school meals and vCJD. To be broadcast this evening from 6pm BBC South Today.

That this House notes the 167 confirmed cases of variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (vCJD) in the UK, including three through blood transfusion, compared with three in total in the USA; congratulates and welcomes the work of Christine Lord, following the tragic death of her son Andy from vCJD at the age of 24, in establishing a website, www.justiceforandy.com, and producing a BBC South documentary Who Killed My Son which can be watched on www.justiceforandy.com; asks the BBC to screen the documentary nationwide; notes the death from vCJD of another six young people living within 25 miles of Portsmouth; asks the Government to commission further research to establish common factors, such as school catering, among vCJD victims in South Hampshire as well as elsewhere in the country; notes the written answer from the Minister of State for Health on 11th March 2008, giving a vCJD sub-clinical prevalence estimate of up to 1 in 1,400 of the population; and asks that the Government completes its evaluation of screening for prions in blood supply and other possible measures to protect the blood supply as soon as possible, in light of the conclusions reported in the 15th annual report of the National Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease Surveillance Unit that blood transfusion is beyond reasonable doubt a possible transmission route for vCJD.

I am being interviewed for BBC Radio Solent’s Breakfast Show discussing the campaign and my investigations into school meals and the role they may have played in Andrew developing vCJD.

An EDM is a public document which anyone can view online. I will publish the link and the final version of the EDM in my blog later this week.

I have been slowly reading through Andrews medical and GP records, it has been very upsetting to read about my sons short life in those case notes.

My sons 24 year old life lay before me in those sheaf’s of paper, starting from when he was a baby and I took him to the clinic before me was his weight and height chart which measured his life in months and years. Each dot on the graph an important part of his healthy growth, I remember myself as his twenty something mum proudly holding my first born baby boy as he was weighed regularly at the baby clinic. I remember holding him close, cuddling him again and again, can even remember that lovely soft new baby smell. I remember my feelings of satisfaction knowing that he was thriving and well and that as a first time mum I was doing a good job. Caring, protecting and nourishing my son.

To read each note is a milestone in my sons short life, interweaved with the GPs and even Andrews comments about how well he was doing at school, his social activities, and what he wanted to do when he grew up. Suddenly I was replaying a video of my sons too short life seeing Andrew at 5, 6, 7, 10, 12 and then fourteen as he visited the GP for acne cream. Each record replaying a year, month and day in Andrews life. I could see my handsome son bright eyed full of joy and with a wonderful future ahead.....I could see him at each stage and age as I read and re read his GP notes....and it broke my heart all over again.

We are going to visit Emma’s campus where she will be starting University in October. Andrew was too ill for me to go to the open days with Emma last year. So I have arranged for us to visit her chosen university in the next few weeks. We will be taking a picnic and meeting up with some of her tutors and having a look at what will be her accommodation and home for the next three years.

I try as much as I can to make days like this special for Emma she is my bright light in the darkness.

I like to share this information with you, its data and evidence which the respected Social Scientist and investigator Kerstin Dressel has gathered about the BSE scandal, and the cover up that has led to so many avoidable deaths due to vCJD.

As a German she has an objective outsiders view regarding the UKs political culture. Here is just part of her PHD Thesis which involved interviewing over 30 politicians, civil servants and scientists who were at the heart of Whitehall throughout the BSE scandal.

She asks Why did so few scientists speak out and warn the British Public of the grave risks that BSE held for human life? Dressel explains "Those who did were vilified, some had careers and reputations systematically destroyed. Many kept quiet simply for fear of losing their career or having funding cut. All of the MAFF scientists were effectively gagged."

In other words the public was given deliberately false, massaged and selective information, a ministry (of Agriculture) backed by government, its ministers and officials that was willing to destroy any open scientific debate. WHICH EFFECTIVELY PUT EVERY PERSON IN THE UKs HEALTH AT GRAVE RISK ....

Also........

WHY CONCEAL, BLOCK AND INTIMIDATE IF THERE IS NOTHING TO HIDE?

Lord Phillips during the BSE Inquiry stated "A false impression was conveyed that BSE posed no risk to humans."

Those deliberate decisions and choices by the men and women profiled on this website helped to create the legacy that is the horrific vCJD. Those men and women responsible for my Andrew and nearly 200 victims deaths put their careers, profit and shaky government policy before the British public lives. They have also created a time bomb: " ONE IN A THOUSAND OF THE UK POPULATION COULD BE CARRYING VCJD" Professor John Collinge (World expert University College London." (May 2008)

Throughout my 35 minute interview with JOHN GUMMER, (DURING WHICH HE SAT WITH A PHOTO OF MY DYING ANDREW WHICH I HAD PRESENTED HIM WITH AT THE BEGINNING OF OUR MEETING)

Gummer told me that he had "Taken advice from the best scientific advice available"....from Dressel’s thorough research, other independent investigators evidence and my conclusions this was clearly not the case........

NB: DURING OUR FIRST CONFRONTATION I PRESENTED THE PHOTOGRAPH OF MY DYING ANDREW TO JOHN GUMMER TO KEEP AS A REMINDER WHAT HIS DELBERATE DECISIONS AND ACTIONS HAD CAUSED......the destruction of my sons life and future....

I often wonder what has become of that lovingly framed photo of my only son dying of vCJD

Thursday 3^rd July 2008

I like to thank all those wonderful members of the British public that have been writing to the bbc asking for the insideout documentary to be repeated nationwide. People power can move mountains and I have many more to climb yet! Also the offers of help, words of comfort, poems and love that are still arriving via the website.

Like all parents of A level students we are waiting for Emma’s results, whatever my daughter achieves I will be so proud of her and the fact she carried on studying, throughout Andrews illness and untimely death.

We are spending the day together tomorrow as I want Emma to know how much I love and value her too! I use to call Andrew my number one son, and Emma was and remains my number one daughter.

Emma has started a few part time jobs as she is busy saving for when she starts University in October. She will be going to Uni in the London area. Both my children fell in love with London from the moment they first visited. Although Andrew loved his family he was never more at home than shopping in Oxford Street, seeing friends in Soho and working in town. Whenever I walk along the Thames near the London Studios I can see Andrew striding along, designer dressed and full of energy, talking non stop about his next project or programme. I miss our talks and walks.... I miss my son........

Tuesday 1^st July 2008

PHOTO - Christine being filmed for MBC documentary at Pitsham Farm Midhurst West Sussex where the first case of BSE was recorded 4 days before Christmas 1984.

I have just finished filming the two hour documentary for MBC and have said goodbye to the team who flew back to Seoul today.

It was very difficult for me going back to Pitsham Farm, Midhurst where the first case of BSE was recorded in 1984.

To walk in the footsteps of those staggering cows now knowing that the agent that destroyed them all those years ago would kill my Andrew in 2007.... it was so tough.. Also to know now that when that first cow was recorded as dying of BSE IN 1984 I was sitting at home just 25miles away wrapping presents for Andrews second Christmas.

Pitsham Farm is in one of the most loveliest areas of England and the British countryside never looked more beautiful....yet lurking in those fields and land was the man made agent that destroyed my sons life and future.

The documentary is being broadcast mid July prime time and Gina and the crew are certain it will have record numbers of viewers. I will keep you posted.

Saturday 21st June 2008 I have been busy filming with a Korean TV crew from MBC...about Andrew, vCJD and my journey as Andrews mother for justice and the truth. We have filmed in Westminster and Whitehall, at the memorial to vCJD victims alongside the embankment right opposite the Houses of Parliament, as well as me meeting other families whose loved ones have died of vCJD. The programme titled "my lost boy" also looks at my life now as Andrews mother as I try to grieve whilst publicly pushing the campaign and pursing the men and women who killed him. The Korean team Chang the Producer, Young the assistant Cameraman, Phil the Director and Gina the researcher have been lovely and so sensitive. They have shed tears repeatedly over Andrews loss and have helped me to gain more strength to fulfil my promise to Andrew. With the wonderful offers of help, information and support of so many of the British and now international public, it helps me to carry on with my investigations...during some of the darkest days of my life. Thursday 19th June 2008 I was sitting in Andrews bedroom and came across his diary for last year....I would like to share the last entry he ever made, on the very day he was admitted to hospital (ten days before the clinical diagnosis of vCJD).   26th May 2007 - I am a very determined person and have never stopped trying and never given up once in my life yet. …its got me where I am today. But I am becoming emotionally worn out and tired and its not doing me any good. For the first time ever I accept maybe this mountain is just too much of a struggle to climb……. Tuesday 17th June 2008 The poem below is one of the many that Emma has to learn and discuss as part of her A levels.....it really struck a chord with both of us ..... Perhaps   Perhaps some day the sun will shine again and I shall see that still the skies are blue and feel once more I do not live in vain although bereft of You   Perhaps the golden meadows at my feet will make the sunny hour of spring seem real and I shall find the white May-blossoms sweet Though you have passed away   perhaps the summer woods will shimmer bright And crimson roses once again be fair And autumn harvest fields a rich delight Although You are not there   But though kind time may many joys renew There is one great joy I shall not know Again, because my heart for loss of you Was broken, long ago   Vera Britten Saturday 14th June 2008 I have been looking through photos of Andrew, myself and Emma during happier times and came across one of my favourites with Andrew. This was taken in central park New York in 2003 on the exact day he would die four year later...16th December....its hard to believe that my healthy, strong, articulate son laughing at his sister taking the photo only had just a few years to live..... I remember that day so well just a few days before Christmas and we had all had a wonderful trip around the park in an open horse drawn carriage even though it was -4. Emma had gone ice skating at the Rockerfeller Centre and that evening we were all planning to see the musical "Chicago" in Times Square. I am so glad I got to know my adult son during our many trips away but feel so sad that I never got to see him grow older than 24 years. Next week I start filming another documentary about Andrew, his last days dying of vCJD and my continuing investigations and campaign for justice. The two hour long programme is due for international release mid July and I will be filming in London and around the UK so watch out for me and my small crew. Wednesday 12th June 2008 My regular blog updates will resume in the next few days as we are in the process of updating the site. Emma is also in the middle of her A level exams and needs a great deal of support. I am listening and supplying snacks and treats to a stressed teenager who is also missing her big brother Andrew. Saturday 7th June 2008 My article about Andrew and his dying of vCJD appeared in the "Big Issue" (May 26th -1st June 2008). Here is a photo of me with vendor Bridgette Sibley (P3) holding copies of the edition in which as "Queen for the day" I also discuss the campaign. I was so touched by Bridgettes concern as always once people know about Andrews terrible death they want to help and usually shed a few tears.   Andrew always bought a copy of the "Big Issue" like many youngsters he had a very sensitive caring side really hating  any sort of injustice or unfairness. I remember him saying to me "No one in 21st century Britain should spend their nights sleeping rough on the streets." The magazine launched in 1991 has helped many vulnerable people. Whilst making society aware that during anyone's lifetime, circumstances, ill health, family breakdown, loss of employment can all escalate into homelessness. Wednesday 4th June 2008 The Times on line reports: EU food chief: lift BSE ban to cut grain prices   Patrick Wall one of Europe's top food safety advisers says that the ban to feed chickens and pigs animal remains should be lifted so that grain can be given to the starving millions. Professor Wall continued "there is no scientific reason to maintain the ban." (BSE and its deadly bi product vCJD came into existence by making cows eat the ground down remains of their own diseased species). Andrew died less than 6months ago and 4 UK youngsters (a young lad of 20 diagnosed just a month ago) are currently battling the lethal vCJD. Once again selective research endorsed by an "expert" with the backing of DEFRA (MAFF) will put peoples lives at risk. Check out the full report below. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article4054169.ece   NB: Its with sadness I report the death of Dr Harash Narang (see John Major profile) Dr Narang lost his job at the Government Health Laboratories for his persistent warnings about BSE and its linkage to vCJD, telling the Phillips Inquiry "On many occasions in 1988 and subsequently I proposed at least random post-mortem testing of cattle but random BSE testing was then judged to be of low priority because MAFF considered that a visual examination of animals, noting overt symptoms of clinical cases before slaughter was adequate. (this allowed nearly 1 million BSE infected cattle into the UK food chain, which means everyone over 11 has "eaten at least 50 meals of BSE infected material") Dr Stephen Dealler Microbiologist June 2008.   Dr Naranag was due to appear in a documentary in the next few weeks, in which I am also taking part discussing his proactive role during BSE, as one of the few scientists who stood up and stated its risks to human health. My producer of the forthcoming documentary talked to Dr Narang last Friday evening when he seemed in high spirits and they discussed Dr Narangs future campaigns including one to stop the EU lifiting the BSE ban on feeding animal remains to UK livestock including chicken and pigs. I was also due to speak to him again this week about his role during BSE in the 1980s and 1990s and the evidence he has gathered over the years regarding the men and women I hold responsible for Andrews avoidable death. I was shocked to hear that he had suddenly died of a suspected heart attack on Saturday 31st May 2008.....a researcher talked to him only the night before on the 30th May 2008. My thoughts are with Harashs family and friends at this sad time, and to let Harashs family know that I will continue to search for the truth and expose the people at the heart of the BSE scandal with the help of other experts, scientists, ,journalists, and colleagues. Tuesday 3rd June 2008   The more I investigate the men and women responsible for the deaths of nearly 200 vCJD victims, the more appalled I am at not only their  deliberate decisions that cost lives but also  their on going  disrespectful behaviour towards victims and the British public.   During the Phillips (BSE) Inquiry, family members of victims of vCJD sat in the front row as officials, ministers and the key decisions makers were called to give evidence. Not only did these brave families have to sit through day after day of   machiavellian manoeuvres carefully crafted by Whitehall. They also had to suffer comments like this, after giving a very sketchy account of his part as a key decision maker in the BSE crisis  Donald Acheson Chief Medical Officer 1983-1991 (whose role was to protect the UKs population health) returned to his seat to tell a colleague within earshot of distressed and bereaved families "I am going home now to a bottle of champagne and a NICE JUICY STEAK." The family members who told me this still become tearful and upset at the memory of their loved ones and their grief being treated with such cold and callous behaviour. This is just one of many incidences which I can verifiy that families of vCJD have had to endure because they dared to challenge government and its ministers.   Please help me to get these men and women accountable for the deliberate actions that has resulted in so many avoidable and young deaths. Monday 2nd June 2008   I have been busy filming using my hand held camera to keep a continual diary of events, interviews and evidence as it unfolds. I have spoken to experts who worked at the heart of MAFF during the BSE scandal. I have also interviewed scientists and researchers that were intimidated and sidelined because they dared to say that BSE had grave implications for UK consumers. Some where threatened with jail or worse, those who looked the other way were richly rewarded others frightened quit their jobs, this was the unstoppable money making machine that put human life a very poor second to profit and government policy. An independent expert who maintained that BSE could devastate and kill humans throughout the scandal. Dr Stephen Dealler, Microbiologist, Lancaster University told me "I was severely leant on, at times I felt afraid for my well being, so to keep myself safe I involved the media." he continued "I had no work as the then Public Health Laboratory Service never gave me any more research, because I spoke out against the government I ended up working from my garage." he added "MAFF didn’t want to hear anything that went against the government policy that "beef and its products were safe", it was always about money and profit. I couldn’t sit back and let the government risk the entire population of the UK to such a fatal and devastating disease, but that’s what MAFF and the government did." he added "It was always always, about money, which led to over 1 million BSE infected cattle being consumed by the UK population." Whenever I speak to experts like Stephen Dealler, I am appalled and distressed equally.....my Andrew died because of those deliberate machiavellian manoeuvrings of Whitehall, its officials and lackeys.....my beautiful boy lies in a cold grave because they chose money over his life.....again and again..... Sunday 1st June 2008 Just to say thank you to The Sun readers who have started a blog forum on the newspapers website. To find out more click the link below. The Sun readers have big hearts and its great that they have shown their support for the campaign.ww.thesun.co.uk/discussions/posts/list/Justice_for_Andy-72066.page Saturday 31st May 2008   I have been busy filming using my usual hand held camera to keep a constant diary of events, interviews and evidence as it unfolds.   I have recently been in contact with experts who worked at the heart of  MAFF and Whitehall during the BSE scandal they have told me of machiavellian manoeuvres and lies of huge proportions.   I have also interviewed scientists and researchers that were intimidated and sidelined because they dared to say that BSE had grave implications for UK consumers. Some were even threatened with prison or worse, those who looked the other way were richly rewarded others frightened quit their jobs, this was the unstoppable money making machine throughout the BSE scandal that put human life a very poor third to profit and government policy. From the earliest stages of the epidemic the government refused to fund any research to look for treatment, independent scientists and their worrying research were blocked and they were not allowed to get hold of any BSE tissue samples, experts from overseas were banned. "Even in the early 1990s Iain McGill quit a government research group after warning of the risks being taken. He was told it would be illegal to tell anyone what he had found. When vCJD appeared the government still considered whether or not to tell the public". (The Guardian, Wednesday September 5th 2001).   An independent expert who maintained for years that BSE would have grave implications to human health  was Dr Stephen Dealler, Microbiologist, Lancaster University who told me "I was severely leant on, at times I felt afraid for my well being, so to keep myself safe I involved the media". He continued "I had no work as the then Public Health Laboratory Service never gave me any more research. Because I spoke out against the government I ended up working on treatments for the disease from my garage." he added "MAFF and the government didn't want to hear anything that went against them and their assertion that "beef and its products were safe", even thought they had  proof it wasn't safe for human consumption they wouldn't listen . I couldn't sit back and let the government  risk the entire population of the UK to such a fatal and devastating disease, but thats what MAFF and the government did." he added "It was always, always, about money. Which led to over 1 million infected cattle being consumed by the UK population". (May 2008) Friday 30th May 2008   I have been reading some scientific research titled:  Incidence of variant Creutzfeldt-Jacob disease, diagnoses and deaths in the UK  by N J Andrews.  Senior Statistician, Statistics Unit, Centre for Infections, Health Protections Agency 16th January 2008 which states:   "The age of death has not increased as may have been expected, assuming that most exposure to BSE ceased in the early 1990s."   The average age at death for victims is 28.5 years, the majority seem to fall between late teens and early twenties. If you look at how long ago BSE first entered the food chain victims age range in  2008  should be around the forty year old  age group. I put my observation to  Dr Chohan Research Registrar at the CJD Surveillance Unit in Edinburgh She said "Yes you are right we should be seeing victims in their forties at this time but the average age has roughly remained the same."   I find it disturbing that a young man of 20 has just been diagnosed with vCJD in February this year, when eleven years ago in February 1996 Peter Hall another 20 year old died of vCJD.   Two realistically frightening scenarios could be assumed from this:   1. BSE infected material remained in the food chain for considerably longer than the Government are admitting.       2. Children and Infants due to a particular lifestyle choice common to this age range ingested/ate BSE infected products that were not available to the wider public...ie baby food, vaccines, school/college/institutional meals. (The younger a person is the more susceptible they are to BSE infected material.) Tuesday 27th May 2008   I have posted a page on organophosphates under the "what's to blame?" heading...I remain open to this line of investigation.   Anyone who knows me will tell you I am a straight talking, down to earth woman, who is tenacious with a great deal of common sense. I have also a wonderful team of fellow journalists and colleagues who keep me on track and my feet firmly on the ground. They have been brilliant for sharing my thoughts, information and investigations....thank you guys!   Today I have been working for a newspaper (I still have to earn a living) this helps me to keep a balance in a life that has been turned upside down!   This evening I am going to review a concert of classical music, for just a few hours I am hoping to be transported to another place where life is normal...  for just a brief while.... once again. Monday 26th May 2008   On this day last year my son Andrew was finally admitted to hospital by a locum GP who took one look at Andrew and said "this young man is seriously neurologically ill."   Within ten days I was sitting in a side room just 20 feet from my Andrews hospital bed to be told "we believe your son has vCJD, and has probably only 6 months to live. He will become bedridden unable to move, talk, swallow, will become blind, deaf and have no memory." His consultant also said "a stray burger did not do this" (the damage to Andrews brain). After going into the loo and having a little cry I pinned  the smile back on my face and sat by Andrews bed who asked "well what did they say?" I told him he had a virus which although would make him poorly he would recover  from....how could I as Andrews mum take away all hope from a 24 year old young man?   For the rest of the afternoon and into the summers evening  I chatted away. We watched TV went for a walk...Andrew could just manage to the end of the corridor if I held him up. Then I used a wheelchair to take him out into the sunshine...all the time inside my head I was silently screaming " My beautiful boy is dying of vCJD......" Tuesday 20th May 2008   I have been busy putting together another page for the website under "What's to blame?" which should go up soon.   I have also been speaking to lots of people, including family members and they have helped me so much in putting the pieces together as well as being a lovely support during this the worst of times.   I have been talking to farmers, vets and many agriculture workers that were at the centre of the BSE scandal and their stories and evidence has been both riveting and distressing. So much should have been stopped and prevented.   In between this I have been supporting Emma through her final weeks of A levels, a stressful time for all young students throughout the country. I have been offering snacks, chat and support as well as listening, always listening, at times neither of us can believe that we will never see or hear Andrew again (in this life)...such is the pain and disbelief of our grief.   Yesterday I took possession of a leaflet with pictures of memorials, I have to choose in the next week what stone to put on Andrews grave. This will be placed on his grave in September which would have been  his 25th birthday that will be the only and last thing I will ever buy my son... Saturday 17th May 2008   Today I am taking some "time out" to walk by the sea, to smell the roses, read a non fiction book and be with my daughter Emma.